The Adopted Child's Knowledge of Birth Parents

Yesterday, I shared my personal background with you all. I talked about the fact that I was adopted at birth, and did not have any information about my birth parents. I sought to locate my birth parents as an adult in order to find out my medical background, and also to satisfy a greater need to know where I came from and the circumstances of my adoption. My birth mother Brigitte was no longer alive, but my birth father is here and remains somewhat present in my life. He pops in and out every few months to check in. In yesterday's blog I discussed my belief that adoptive parents and birth parents are connected through their child and should not fear one another. At least in my case, I feel lucky to have more people in this world who love me.

Those interested in adoption often ask me what kind of adoption works best -- open, semi-open or closed adoption. This is a difficult question to answer, as I think it is very personal. What works best for one person may not be best for another. From my experience, I think no knowledge is difficult for a child who was adopted. I recall looking in the mirror as a kid and wondering ... where do I come from? Then again, I'm not sure how I would have processed information about my birth parents when I was a child. For example, knowledge of my birth mother's death would have been devastating to me. That being said, I am glad to have found out my background once I was grown up, with a solid foundation under my feet. In response to the initial question of what kind of adoption works best, I would have to say that semi-open adoption would have worked better for me than closed adoption.

I hope my experience is helpful to anyone considering adoption. Please feel free to contact me with your questions. Or, you may call one of the pregnancy counselors at Adoption House International -- it's free, they are available 24/7, and all calls are confidential. Please call 1-877-921-1102.