Choosing Adoptive Parents

Let's discuss the selection of adoptive parents. Assuming that you have chosen adoption for your child, you may want to consider what characteristics are important to you in selecting adoptive parents.

An adoption agency screens potential parents in advance, to ensure that they are good, honest, mature people with a firm commitment to providing a healthy, happy life for the child. To accomplish this, the agency uses a process called a "home study." They undergo extensive interviews, submit character and employment references, and permit a physical examination of the home in which the child would be raised. Some agencies, such as Adoption House International, require even more from potential parents -- requiring potential parents to complete 10 hours of parent training as part of the home study process. This process ensures that potential parents meet your expectations of "good parents."

Once the home study is complete, and the potential parent(s) approved, they will prepare a "Dear Birth Mother" letter or "Profile" for birth parents to consider. This document is important, as it will be shown to you for your consideration. You can learn about different potential parents by reading these documents and finding out about the people who want to raise the child. You can choose the family with whom you are most comfortable.

Here are some questions for you to consider in selecting adoptive parents:

• Do you believe the child should have both a mother and a father?
• If so, do you believe it is important for the mother and father to be married?
• Would you be comfortable with a same sex couple raising the child?
• Do you think one of the parents should be a "stay at home" parent or do you think both should work?
• Does it matter to you what income level the adoptive family has? If so, what is your preference?
• Is the age of the adoptive parents important to you? If so, what is your preference?
• Do you think it is important for the child to be raised in a family with a strong religious faith? If so, do you have a preference for the religious faith?
• Do you think it is important for a child to have brothers and/or sisters?
• Are there certain interests that you believe add to a child's experience in a family (music, art, sports, politics, etc.)?
• Are there other issues that are important to you in the selection of a family for the child?

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns about the home study process or choosing the adoptive parents.

Some questions and guidance for this post were inspired by the National Council For Adoption's Discussion Guide for the Selection of Adoptive Parents.