Thoughts from the Maternity Wing

In my last blog, I mentioned how there are people who want to help. People working in the adoption field do their work because they want to make the difference in the lives of others -- including a pregnant women who needs help, a child starting his/her life journey and others who want to parent. Adoption specialists are here for all of these parties to the adoption "triad."

In addition, there are others who become involved in an adoption simply because of the nature of their work. Nurses and social workers become involved in any birth and possible adoption within their hospital. This can be good. This can be bad. The question becomes: Is this an adoption-friendly hospital? Let me explain by example.

A few summers ago, I worked with a birth mother who delivered her baby in a Pennsylvania hospital. She was single, providing for two teen-aged daughters on her own, working for minimum wage and living at home with her mother. Her pregnancy was the product of rape. She received counseling and believed she was unable to parent the baby. She made an adoption plan and selected adoptive parents. At the time of the birth, the adoptive parents were present.

A hospital nurse approached the adoptive parents while they were standing alone and advised them: the birth mother was not "giving her baby away" and they should leave the hospital immediately. In tears, the adoptive parents left. The nurse then went into the hospital room and began yelling at the birth mother to parent the baby. The birth mother, who was strong in mind and confident in her decision, sent the nurse out of the room. The birth mother had not changed her mind; this was the work of the nurse alone. The adoptive parents came back to the hospital and the adoption went forward. A complaint was made to the hospital about the incident, and the nurse was fired.

This is a hospital horror story. I imagine that every adoption specialist has had a similar experience.

On the flip side, there are hospital workers who are very sensitive and receptive to patients needs. Their focus is on the best interests of their patients (mother and child), rather than their own agenda. Most hospitals today are striving to do better. Even those who are "adoption-friendly" want to do better, through the re-evaluation their policies and procedures and by providing better services for their patients. As a result, hospital horror stories will become less common and a thing of the past.

Pregnant women and teens considering adoption deserve to receive the highest level of care not only by adoption specialists, but from everyone. Have you had an experience you would like to share? Please do.

Would you like to talk with a pregnancy counselor? Someone who wants to help? Adoption House International (www.adoptionhouse.org) has counselors available to speak with you 24/7 -- at no cost to you. And all calls are confidential. If so, please call: 1-877-921-1102.